Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Soundtrack of their first months: Somebody to love

This past summer, back when I was still a pregnant infertile, Grey and I had a discussion about maintaining sanity during the first few months after the Beats arrived. Remembering back to our trip to help Lucas and his wife following the arrival of their twins, we talked extensively about whether to buy or relocate our existing TV into our bedroom so that there would be some background noise during the middle-of-the-night feeds. Ultimately we decided against this, opting instead to invest in an iPod docking system complete with radio. A decision and investment that has overwhelming paid for itself time and time again.

Anyway, during those first few weeks of the Beats being home, the radio played nonstop to provide background noise to help soothe the babies to sleep. What was unexpected, though, was that a soundtrack would emerge representing their first few months of life. Songs that we've danced to as a family; songs that I've wept big fat tears over while rocking the Beats to sleep; songs that have broken my heart as I've reflected on our journey to become parents; songs that reminded me to have hope.

Given that writing has been difficult due to my new job, the new daycare schedule and general life craziness, I thought I share some of these with all of you. As always, feel free to skip these posts if you are not in a good place, need to guard your heart or simply find them unbearably cheesy.
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Folk music has become a love of mine since I first arrived in the Pacific Northwest. This love started while I was in college, but blossomed following living with a local musician and having the opportunity to explore the local music scene with her. During my year living in the Mint House, I dreamed some of the sweetest dreams after falling asleep to Jen's guitar and even now when I'm in a vulnerable state, I still find comfort in listening to some bluegrass music while enjoying a beer.

One night in September, around the Beats due date, I found myself alone with two whimpering babies who were practically inconsolable. Not wanting to wake Grey, as it was my time to cover the babies so he could recharge, I began scanning the radio in hopes of finding something that would help all of us get some sleep. I stopped on the local station and decided to give the program a shot following an introduction of a new musician who played bluegrass music while sporting dreadlocks. The music that filled the bedroom that evening not only coaxed the Beats to sleep, but brought me to tears while also making me laugh. Music that touched me to my very core.

The artist from that night is Valerie June, a singer/songwriter from the Memphis area who specializes in a form of bluegrass music that she happily refers to as Organic Moonshine Roots music. Valerie's first album "Pushin against a stone" is the result of a Kickstarter project and was co-written and produced by Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys and Kevin Augunas (think Edward Sharp and Florence + The Machine). She's been featured on NPR Music, BBC Radio 6 and most recently with the Revival Tour

Though I could write an entire blogpost about each song she performed that night and the emotions that they drew out of me, I won't and instead will focus on the song I rocked the Beats to sleep to that night. A song that I still hum to them when I'm drying their tears following moments of unhappiness. A song that has become my promise to them. A song that when I sing, makes me cry tears of my own: tears of joy for having these two in my life and tears of sorrow for the ones I never got to hold.



Valerie June - Somebody to love
Well, if you're tired
and feelin' so lonely
you wake up at night
thinking that only
if you had somebody
I'll be somebody
Somebody to love

Did they tell you, there are
plenty of fish in the sea
but you're drowning and cold
and you're feelin' empty

Looking for somebody
I'll be somebody
Somebody to love

I'll be somebody x3
If you need somebody
I'll be somebody x2
If you need somebody
I'll be somebody x3

If you need somebody
Somebody to love

Are you watching the moon risin'
in the darkest of night

Battered and broken
'Cause you know it ain't right

'Cause you ain't got nobody
You ain't got nobody
you ain't got nobody

And I'll be somebody
I'll be somebody
Somebody to Love

I'll be somebody
If you need somebody
I'll be somebody x 3
if you need somebody
I'll be somebody x3
You can call on me
I'll be somebody x3
You can count on me
I'll be somebody x2
Somebody to love

5 comments:

  1. I just love this song. Perfect. I'm glad something helped you all stick it out. We've recently been singing our 5 year old the songs from her babyhood at her demand and I realized that the second baby doesn't have a soundtrack as much because she's been so relatively chill. I'm making more of an effort to sing to her now even as she's almost 1 so she has those songs she loves from before she remembers as she gets older.

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  2. Beautiful post. I can relate as a pregnant infertile. Soon after I found out I was pregnant again from IVF #2 (following an early loss with #1) and was beginning to think there might be a chance, a song I loved during college popped back up and began to have such special meaning. "Cassidy" by the Grateful Dead. It helped me dream about my child and keep hope. "Child of countless trees, child of boundless seas..." And most importantly, "Come wash the nighttime clean, come grow the scorched ground green. Blow the horn, tap the tambourine. Close the gap on the dark years in between. You and me, Cassidy." I could cry writing this. That's my baby boy, closing the gap of the long hard years of infertility, arriving in April.

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  3. Thank you for introducing me to this song. I'm adding it to a playlist I use when I write. It will always evoke images of you and the earlyBeats.

    GO BRONCOS!!

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  4. I can't wait to check Valerie June out! She sounds awesome and right up my alley.

    We listened to the album "On the Beach" by Neil Young on repeat for months - I still put it on to remember the early days ... I love how music takes you back in time and lets you feel these precious moments.

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  5. Ok, I just listened and OH MY GOODNESS we love her!!!!! We watched the KEXP live version of her singing this song and I seriously had to do a double take to see if that amazing voice was coming from that amazing woman ... not what I was expecting at all.

    Thanks for sharing Cristy! That's the second song you introduced me to that I love (the first was Starfish and Coffee)! I'm in such a good mood now, haha.

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